Isolated Togetherness
by ThatPurplyThing
Summary: What does Ivan mean when he requests you become one with him? And why does he wish for it? Amelia is curious to find out. Rus/Fem!Ame, oneshot, based on an RP.


**This is from an RP I had with thatgirlyesthatone on Tumblr, who is one of the _best_ fem!America RP'ers I've met. This was actually one of my first full length roleplays, so it was really fun. **

**Thanks again to my fabulous RP partner! Read and enjoy!**

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Amelia stormed into his office. How dare he embarrass her like that? Her patience had run thin and now she had done what she hardly ever did; get pissed. She hated being pissed, but when she was, it was usually for a good reason, or at least it was in her eyes. Questioning her every move like she was a child and belittling her country- like his was any better- was a good way too. "What the hell was that?" she asked coldly, walking into his office.

Ivan looked up from his documents on the desk, a bored look on his face, "What are you talking about, now?"

"The meeting!" Her breath was jagged from fury. "Hell, every meeting! You treat me like some... idiot! You know if you would actually take me seriously and listen to what i have to say you would realise my ideas aren't that bad!"

Ivan gave an amused smile, "Do you ever listen to yourself talk? Whenever you speak, I'm all ears, Amelia. And I've listened to you long enough to determine that your ideas are too flimsy and spontaneous. It's no wonder you have the trouble you're in."

She glared at him, "At least I'm giving ideas that don't resort to mass annihilation and 'becoming one with Mother Russia'" Amelia mocked him at last part of her statement, never losing his eyes.

Ivan's eyes suddenly became a little bit more rigid, but his smile stayed on his face. He said very softly, "I haven't said anything regarding mass annihilation for a very long time, _dorogoy_. As for 'becoming one', nobody bothers to listen, or understand. Their loss." He sat up, rolling his shoulders a little, and kept his gaze with her blue irises, "Maybe if you understood what I mean by 'becoming one', you'd be less opposed to the idea."

When she figured out what he meant, her cheeks became red, making her want to punch that stupid smile off his face. "I thought Francis was the pervert." she said crossing her arms, her cheeks grew even more read. "And don't call me darling!"

Ivan rolled his eyes, "It's not even that. At all." He smiled even wider, "Who's perverted now?"

"Then what is it? What else could that possibly mean?" Her cheeks remained red just at the thought. _Stop It Amelia!, _she told herself.

Ivan smiled and leaned back in his chair as he calmly explained, "Believe it or not, I'm a strong believer in meditation. It's a good way for someone to become one with their own body, mind, and spirit. I think that we'd all be a little less stressed if we meditated together." He looked up with a more peaceful smile, "It really helped me during the Cold War and World War II. I'd just sit in my chair, and relax for some time. That's what I mean for 'becoming one'."

"Oh." She said relaxing a bit. "So... do we just... go at it then?" _Well when you say like that, Amy, it still sounds perverted, you idiot._

She sighed "What I mean is; sure, Ivan. Let's meditate or whatever. Just show me how, I guess."

"Alright then." he nodded, "Sit down." he pointed to the chair adjacent from him, "And close your eyes."

She obeyed, plopping down in the chair, closing her eyes. "Do I have cross my legs and hum?" Amelia pouted.

"It's unnecessary and annoying, really." spoke Ivan, closing his own eyes, as he sat up straight in his chair, and let his limbs relax, "Just remain silent, and breathe deeply. Empty your mind as best you can, and take deep breaths. Keep still, and relax..."

She nodded listening to his words. Amelia felt her breath flow in and out of her chest, relaxing her even more. Soon she found that she wasn't mad anymore, she began to fall in a state of an almost sleep-like relaxation...

Ivan opened one of his eyes a little, and smirked at Amelia. She was slouched on the chair, feet dragged on the floor awkwardly, almost as if she were sleeping. She was so cute sometimes. He closed his eyes feeling a lightness in his chest as he smiled happily. He imagined his sunflowers and warmth as he went into a deeper state of relaxation. And at that moment, he felt closer to Amelia, even though their closed eyes isolated whatever else.

Amelia began to think of being a little kid, getting scowled at for wearing Matthew's clothing and getting them dirty from playing baseball. She also began to wonder why she and Ivan even had their scuffles. Now that they were alone she felt that he wasn't as bad as he seemed in meetings. She smiled at the thought of them going out for lunch a couple of times. Memories of her childhood flooded into her mind, almost making her relive her happy moments as a little girl. Baseball, comic books, and play time in general.

Ivan's memories of his early childhood were very distant, but comforting, as they were a simply happier moment in his life. Before his mother had passed, he had been living a simple, but happier life, where he felt loved and safe. Getting scrapes on his knees from playing, or tripping on ribbon when he pretended to dance ballet in the kitchen, and getting dirt on his hands from helping his mother and sister in the garden. During times of meditation, he did his best to blank out memories of his father's descent following his mother dying, the insults and blows that were directed at him, and the ridicule he'd receive coming to school with bruises and cuts that he'd never bother to explain, just making up excuses for them. He just did his best to think of the happier moments, with his sisters, with his limited friends, and even some times alone. Surprisingly with Amelia in here with him, he felt...safe.

The memories of her and her twin brother playing tag or ball in the backyard, and Arthur watching them from his book filled her with both warmth and sadness. Then she began to wonder if she would ever get that same feeling of being care free again that she had in those days. She tried not thank of the fighting between her and Arthur or the strained relationship between Matthew. A feeling of understanding began to repel against the longing that she felt. Somehow, Ivan's presence made it easier to deal with them.

Ivan had always hated remembering the Cold War, with the hatred and anger between him and Amelia. But now that she was here, he felt like it was easier to meditate through. He slowly opened his eyes, and looked over to Amelia, who was still in her state of isolation. He felt a warmth in his chest as he watched the American- a feeling he had not experienced for a long time. He watched as she continued to breathe, and when it seemed an appropriate time to, he murmured, "Thank you."

She slowly opened her eyes and smiled softly, coming back to the world. Looking up at Ivan "No." Amelia murmured. "Thank _you_." The girl wanted to say more, but nothing seemed to fit. She never felt so much calmness in her life.

Ivan smiled shyly and fiddled with his scarf, as he stuttered a little, cheeks pink, "You...you are the first person who's actually done this with me...I've always been alone...nobody has ever wanted to become one with me..."

Amelia smiled, her cheeks turning the same colour as his. "Really?" she asked, her voice still rather quiet. She felt...special to say the least.

He nodded, and looked down, "...After so much time of just being alone...becoming one with someone for once...it feels good...I haven't felt this good in a long time..."

Her cheeks burned just a little more. "Is it weird that I feel the same?" She began standing up before her legs fell asleep, "I mean with all the crap that's going on, it's nice to feel...relaxed. Genuinely relaxed!" Amelia paced the room using hand movements to express emotions with her words, her face lighting up a bit.

"I don't think so." shrugged Ivan, as he got up himself, stretching his back, "I do agree that it's very refreshing at such a time." He then felt a little awkward, not knowing what else to say or do. He slowly paced over to Amelia, smiling happily as he kept mostly silent. His heart was beating a little faster than normal, and his cheeks were still colored. Even with this slightly odd feeling, overall he felt better.

Amelia attempted to brush her short-thick curls behind ears. Smiling back at the Russian, she hugged him. She wrapped her arms around his midsection, blushing like crazy. "I'm sorry for being an idiot," she muttered resting her head on his chest, listening to his steady breaths through his giant brown coat.

Ivan froze a moment, feeling his face heat up as he felt her sudden closeness, but he could feel himself relax almost immediately as he smiled and returned the embrace, hugging her comfortingly.

She smiled as he wrapped his arms around her, feeling unexpected warmth from him. Mentally kicking herself for all the arguments toward him, a small tear fell down her cheek. "Thank you." she said into the Russian's coat.

Ivan noticed the tears, and tilted her head up. Without thinking he gave her a quick peck on the cheek. He immediately drew back, mentally slapping himself for doing that. He had meant to be comforting, but now he felt so stupid!

For a moment Amelia's eyes widened with shock, but then they softened as she wrung her fingers in his hand. She looked up at him, noticing his oddly coloured, lavender eyes. Remembering how she always found them so intoxicating. Remembering how she always found him in general always made her just a little curious about who he really was.

Seeing the shock in her eyes and blank expression, Ivan was afraid that he'd scared her off. But as she softly stared at him, holding his hand so gently (it was almost unreal from her), he bit his lip, and glanced away embarrassed, cheeks darkening even more.

Amelia chuckled lightly. "Ivan..." she said softly, "Please look at me..."

He glanced back, a nervousness in his eyes. He felt even stupider just standing there like some nervous, lovesick high-schooler. He was praying to the heavens that the uncomfortable heat in his face and chest would die before he did of embarrassment.

"Ya' know Ivan. You don't have to be embarrassed." She said, not only speaking to him, but herself. "You're a lot sweeter than you let people believe."

Ivan shakily smiled back, "Surprisingly you are as well...I-it seems I may have misjudged you a little...", he hummed a little bit as he tried to help his blush cool down, "You're not as stupidly obnoxious as you seem."

Amelia laughed. "Thanks love." she said smiling. "And you're not as scary." The girl chuckled a little bit more.

Hearing her call him 'love', Ivan cursed himself mentally as he uncontrollably (well, not really), leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead. He let his chin rest on top of her head as they stood together.

For the first time in long time, Amelia felt content and safe. Not having to argue with somebody, or trying to laugh something off. She didn't have to say anything or try to lighten up the mood. All her worries had left her when he had kissed her for the second time. Never would she have expected such warmth from somebody such as Ivan. He had always seemed so cold from afar. She buried her face into him, listening to his breaths as it brought her to a state very similar to mediation.

Ivan breathed in deeply, and closed his eyes as he felt the warmth radiating from Amelia. It reminded him of sunshine. Both were in their own state of relaxation, but they were together. Ivan didn't want to break the silent togetherness. If Arthur or Francis came in, he'd just brandish his pipe with a smile until they left the room.

Amelia nuzzled in closer to him taking in is essence before looking up at him again, holding the same softness that she had before. "Ivan?" she asked.

He opened his eyes, soft violet gazing down, "Da?"

"Why...what were we arguing about anyway." She said, "I mean, was it anything important?"

"Who cares?" replied Ivan, cuddling her with a carefree gentleness.

"I do." she started, "I mean I want to know what we're doing and that we didn't just _try_ to talk or 'become one' or just do this. I want to know why I was such a...such a bitch!" Amelia began to grow frustrated with herself, still taking him in to calm her down.

"I don't remember. Frankly, most of the arguments we've had recently were silly. We all have moments where we're not ourselves. What's past is history, and what is now is a present." he soothed softly, one hand reaching up to stroke her lovely hair.

Amelia smiled as she felt his fingers run through her hair. Finally, she stood on her toes and quickly kissed him on his soft lips, her cheeks turning bright red. Ivan felt his brain momentarily shut off as he felt something even warmer than his face touch his lips. _So soft_. He eventually gave in, and pressed back gently, for a momentary lip lock, before they broke apart. _Longer please?_

She stared up at him, biting her lip slightly before getting on her toes and kissing him once more. This time slightly harder but still holding the same innocence as the first.

Ivan returned the kiss with the same pressure as the last one, so he could carefully take in the sweetness and warmth he could taste; cherry chapstick and lemon-lime soda tracing the sensation. It nearly melted him. Oh heck, not nearly, it _did_. He never realized Amelia was such a good kisser. No, not good; _great_.

Amelia lengthened the kiss, not wanting to let go. The feeling she got when they were in their state of isolation finally came back, even more so then when they were holding each other. Never had anybody kissed her with such...sincerity and love for her.

The length becoming satisfying, and almost demanding, Ivan decided to test the waters, and trace her lower lip with his tongue, asking permission. The smoothness was such a comfort. The way she held him, it made him think of his happier memories, of being loved and in the warmth of life.

Amelia gave him permission to deepen the kiss, feeling warmer and more content with every moment. Tongues meeting each other eagerly, Ivan closed his eyes in bliss, and moved his arms around Amelia so they were more comfortable. He didn't want this to end at all. The splendid isolation of meditation brought the same euphoria he was feeling now. He didn't care whether or not things got steamier (that might have not been such a good idea anyway), but the happiness he was feeling now, he didn't want it to end.

She let him take control of her mouth just wanting to stay in this state forever. Amelia never let anybody take control of her_ ever_. But with Ivan, it just fit. The broke apart slowly from the kiss to catch some air. She smiled, resting hands gently on his chest, playing with the end of his scarf. Ivan smiled happily as she toyed with it, and held her closely as he nuzzled his nose in her hair, subtly inhaling its scent of fruity shampoo and something else he couldn't quite describe. She really was quite beautiful. He quietly enjoyed the warmth that lingered as they kept close together, not caring if anyone else was watching or minding.

Finally, someone had become one with him.

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**I had desperately wanted to use my headcanon of what 'becoming one with Russia' meant. I think he'd be a big supporter of meditation. And I'm so happy my friend went along with it. The last time I tried to rp with this idea, the rp'er said, "You fruitcake, what kind of idea is that?"**

**Once again, thanks!**


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